"Wait in here, Dr. So-and-so will be in in a minute."
I sat on the sterile, crinkly paper on the table in the examination room, and looked at my mom, " I feel like an idiot."
" I would hope so" was all she said.
Well then...
Finally the doctor came in.
"So what brings you in here this evening?"
I look at my mom for support, or a better answer than the truth, or something. She just raised her eyebrows.
"Well....Umm... there's a ccrertete ien aea serrr.."
"I'm sorry, what?"
" A knewfettinekfmy"
"Hmmm?"
" A noodle in my ear... Like a spaghetti noodle. Uncooked. It's...yeah, its in there." I pointed to my ear.
I don't know what I was expecting.
I thought maybe he'd just throw down his stethoscope and walk out mumbling about all the idiots who come into his office, and how if he hadn't gone to medical school he wouldn't have to deal with kids shoving foreign objects in their heads. He could have made millions off his new cereal brand and happily lived out his life on the ski slopes. But no.
*blank face* "....Well let's have a look then. Yup it's in their alright. Punctured your eardrum too."
"brilliant."
He informed me that I would have to let my ear heal before they took it out. I would have to spend almost a week with a noodle in my ear. A noodle. In my ear.
For those who have never experienced shoving an uncooked spaghetti noodle in your ear (which I'm guessing is most everyone) it's pretty painful. Well not all the time. Mostly when you burp. Yep. Burp. Isn't that weird. It doesn't even hurt to sneeze.
Kids at school probably wondered why I'd occasionally cringe after burping. Or why I constantly snapped my fingers by my left ear. Just making sure I can still hear.
You didn't tell anyone?
No. No I didn't. You see, I'm a pretty open person. I don't have many secrets of my own. I'm working on being more mysterious. And what's more mysterious than a secret noodle in my ear? Huh?
....Nothing.
I don't know what I was expecting.
I thought maybe he'd just throw down his stethoscope and walk out mumbling about all the idiots who come into his office, and how if he hadn't gone to medical school he wouldn't have to deal with kids shoving foreign objects in their heads. He could have made millions off his new cereal brand and happily lived out his life on the ski slopes. But no.
*blank face* "....Well let's have a look then. Yup it's in their alright. Punctured your eardrum too."
"brilliant."
He informed me that I would have to let my ear heal before they took it out. I would have to spend almost a week with a noodle in my ear. A noodle. In my ear.
For those who have never experienced shoving an uncooked spaghetti noodle in your ear (which I'm guessing is most everyone) it's pretty painful. Well not all the time. Mostly when you burp. Yep. Burp. Isn't that weird. It doesn't even hurt to sneeze.
Kids at school probably wondered why I'd occasionally cringe after burping. Or why I constantly snapped my fingers by my left ear. Just making sure I can still hear.
You didn't tell anyone?
No. No I didn't. You see, I'm a pretty open person. I don't have many secrets of my own. I'm working on being more mysterious. And what's more mysterious than a secret noodle in my ear? Huh?
....Nothing.
